The Leaky Airplane

I first noticed something was wrong moments after takeoff when the gentleman across the aisle from me extended his arm into the gangway, with his palm facing upwards. The man in front of him was similarly puzzled by something overhead. I too looked up, and noticed what can only be described as a steady trickle of water flowing from an air conditioning vent. It appeared to be causing a nearby light to flicker like a prop in a cheap horror movie. My knowledge of aeronautical engineering is admittedly limited, but I felt fairly certain of one thing: it should not be raining inside of an airplane. Unable to move from our seats, there was little we could do as the plane rose steadily towards the darkened rainclouds.




The guy across the aisle looked up with justifiable concern; the man in front, identifiable by his natty uniform as a member of the French Scouts, seemed remarkably stoic. Perhaps he saw this indoor shower as a challenge to be overcome, or else was confident that his superior survival skills would finally come in handy were the plane to go down. Either way, he pulled up his jacket to absorb the worst of the splashing and relaxed into his seat. Wondering whether the cabin was indeed ruptured, hedged my bets and had a quick glance of the safety card to refresh my familiarity with the operation of the life jacket.

As soon as the light pinged off to confirm that we were now fully airborne, a couple of us flagged down the nearest flight attendant to draw her attention to the alarming dribble. Conceding that this was indeed unusual, she went off in search of assistance. Moments later, a middle-aged man in an arrestingly crimson blazer appeared with a wad of tissues. He looked like a jovial clone of Xi Jinping. Smiling breezily, he dabbed at the vent and assured us that this was simply nothing more than a little excess condensation. Given that I'd never seen an airplane ventilation system drip like a faucet, I wasn't entirely convinced. However, I conceded that blazer-man did also have a stake in making sure the plane landed in one piece, I grudgingly decided to trust him.

The rest of the flight passed without incident, save for a forceful landing which popped open a nearby overhead bin (another disconcerting first). Needless to say, I don't think I've ever been so pleased to step on to the tatty carpets of Chiang Mai airport.