THAILAND SAVAGELY BROWBEATEN IN COMMENT SECTION

Bangkok - The nation of Thailand was subjected to a vicious and sustained online assault yesterday by a number of foreign men.

One internet witness- who wished to remain anonymous- said "I was casually browsing Facebook when I read an article about that English family who got beaten up in Hua Hin over Songkran."

"I clicked on the comment section, expecting to see the usual 'Land of smiles?!?' witticisms- but it was much more aggressive than that. I could hardly watch."

Police reported that a roving group of between 10 and 20 foreign men took turns assaulting Thailand, the Thai people, and the concept of human fraternity in a sustained attack lasting several hours.

"This is evidence that all Thai people are evil, violent, and DESPISE Westerners" wrote Harry Geezer, apparently overlooking the fact that 99.99999994% of Thai people were not involved in the Songkran incident.

"Street violence by drunk young men literally NEVER happens anywhere else in the world except for LIELAND 55555555", added John Smith. "Why did nobody stand up to this violent street gang, other than the fact they feared getting the shit kicked out of them for no reason?"

"This country has gone to the dogs," continued Pattaya resident Barry Knobhead. "I'd leave this shit-hole tomorrow if it wasn't for my Thai wife, Thai children, and the much higher standard of living I have here."

Despite the callous nature of the online attacks, psychologists have warned against stigmatising the assailants. "These are deeply troubled foreign men, struggling to deal with life away from their countries of origin," explained Dr. Marvin Monroe. "They're acting out in this way because they feel isolated and don't get enough attention. This is demonstrated by their vociferous and public resentment of Thailand and 'the Thais', even though they quite happily continue to live here for an extended period of time. They're clearly just bullshitting."

Authorities have said that the unusually vehement assault appeared to be a coordinated attack, noting simultaneous strikes on Coconuts Bangkok, the Bangkok Post, and Asian Correspondent posts. A police spokesman promised that the perpetrators of the verbal assaults would would be punished with severe slaps on the wrist, adding "We'd usually fine them 500 Baht too, but they'd probably just piss themselves laughing."