Republican Primaries 2016

Devon Stevens: Welcome to tonight's show. I'm your host, Devon Stevens. As the Republican primaries continue apace, we check in with our head reporter Chad Vonoverbro. Chad, what's the latest?

Chad Vonoverbro: Thanks, Devon. Well, there's only one person that we can begin with tonight, as the media has the attention span of a toddler and focuses upon the colourful thing which makes the most noise.

"And I can make a YUGE noise."

34 Observations Whilst Watching Sex & The City 2

1) Gratuitous shoe shot in the first 30 seconds.

2) Casual homophobia. But it's OK, because the gay guys are in on the joke.

3) Liza Minelli performing 'Single Ladies'. There isn't enough cringe in the world.

4) Carrie's husband looks like cheap Alec Baldwin AND he left her at the alter? Oy vey.

5) AWFUL lady banter. Worth noting that this movie is written by a dude called Martin.

The Immigration Officer

The room was cold and hostile in the way that only bureaucratic government offices can be. Nobody wanted to be here, and yet everybody was compelled to stay. There was a faint smell of cleaning alcohol and a palpable sense of tension in the air. Numbers were barked intermittently over a crackling microphone, struggling to be heard over the background buzz of forced small-talk. Some people sat wearily in uneven rows of chairs; others restlessly stood against the wall. The room was finely balanced between administration and chaos, order and anarchy.

Fame

"Fame, makes a man take things over

Fame, lets him loose, hard to swallow" - David Bowie

"When I grow up I wanna be famous

I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies" - The Pussycat Dolls

Confessions of a Failed Vegetarian

I once tried being vegetarian. This is where it went wrong.