KFC Chizza

Feeling peckish, I recently visited KFC (as is my want) to grab some of their delicious fried crack chicken. On my way in, I was stopped in my tracks by this sign:

W-w-w-whaaaaat?

The KFC Chizza: a portmanteau only slightly less terrifying than "clusterbomb". My curiosity was well and truly piqued. Was it chicken? Was it pizza? Was it edible? In spite of all my better judgement, I had to find out.

The "item" (I'm reluctant to label it food) cost 39 Baht ($1.10) each, or 4 pieces for just 139 ($3.90). I decided to get just a piece each, as I didn't have the highest of hopes for this brave new frontier in junk food.

Uh-huh.

This is what we got. If I was going to be kind, I'd call it "aesthetically challenging". If I was being honest, I'd say it looked like someone dropped some fried chicken in a bin full of vomited Italian leftovers and decided to serve it up to customers for a lol. Overcome by curiosity and unable to wait any longer, I bit the proverbial bullet.

EGADS!

How should I summarise this culinary experience?

- Firstly, it's not even a nice piece of chicken breast: it's an amalgamated Franken-fillet made up of dark meat pressed together to make a single meaty lump. Yup.

- The sauce seemed to essentially be a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise. Remarkably sweet.

- The questionable looking "cheese". My guess would be E-numbers held together by food colouring.

I expected it to be terrible, and my expectations were well and truly met. This new menu item won't be around for long (one presumes), so if you too have a morbid curiosity for novelty and contempt for your taste buds, grab one today!