Flags

Disclaimer: This is about to get nerdy. We're talking Fun with Flags nerdy.

I've always had a love of flags, which is odd as I strongly dislike both art and nationalism (arguably the two main things going on in a flag). I suppose that I'm drawn to the power of symbolism, and people's attempt to find meaning and identity through those symbols.

I recently saw Roman Mars' excellent TED talk about good and bad flag design. In the talk, Mars lists five key design elements for a successful flag:

1. Keep it Simple
2. Use Meaningful Symbolism
3. Use 2-3 basic colours
4. No Lettering or Seals
5. Be Distinctive (or be related)

The video prompted me to run up a quick and massively subjective list of the best and worst flags in the world.

Best

Vietnam

This is probably my favourite flag in the world. It's clean, bold, and effective. It hits all of the points listed above; it's simple, contains symbolism (the five-pointed communist star), has only two colours, contains no lettering or seals, and is distinctive. You've got two primary colours used in stark contrast with one another, yet they do not clash. Vietnam, you win at flags.

Ukraine

As I was thinking about symbolism in flags, I imagined what a flag could symbolise most literally about a country. "Well, the top would be blue to symbolise the sky and nature, and...wait a minute, that's the Ukrainian flag. And I bet the yellow symbolises their wheat!". I realise this is a rather pathetic thing to get excited about realising, but it does demonstrate the intuitive design of the Ukranian flag. Again, it's only two primary colours, and could be easily drawn by a child in 30 seconds.

California

Here's where my personal biases start to come in. The Five Flag Commandments specify that there should be no text, but I love the text on the state flag of California. The font is clear and striking, and has a timeless robustness to it. This is text done right, compared with the awful, utilitarian font in the San Francisco city flag. What else do I like about this flag? Somehow, "California Republic" has a better ring to it than "The Former Republic of California"- it's bold. The bear stikes the right balance between complexity and simplicty: it is detailed and shaded, yet easily recognisable in profile. It's also looking West- symbolism ahoy! The red band at the bottom is strong yet doesn't overpower the overall image.

Mozambique

I'll be honest, I put Mozambique's flag here because it has an AK-47 on it. I found out that little bit of trivia a few years ago, and have been over-sharing it with people ever since. As a whole, the flag isn't pretty, but a gun and hoe crossed over a book is undeniably strong imagery. A little too strong? Sure. But you don't forget about a flag with an assault rifle on it.

Nepal

You little rebel. I like you, Nepal.

Worst

Ecuador

Look at this flag. Does something just seem off about it? Whenever I look at Ecuador's flag it imbues me with a profound sense of unease. I'm getting shivers down the spine right now just writing about it. Let me lay it out straight- the proportions are wrong. For me, any tricolour flag should be evenly spaced- why is the yellow bar larger than the blue and red bars?
The flags of Colombia and Rwanada also commit this sin, but they're avoiding the igmony of my shit-list as they don't also have a huge distracting seal in the middle which accentuates the asymmetry.

United Kingdom

There's a lot to be said for the iconic status of the Union Jack. Thanks largely to the British Empire and the Spice Girls, it's instantly recognisable around the world. It is also an absolute mess. For a start, the core concept: taking the component flags of three nations and slapping them together one over the top of the other. What could possibly go wrong? They should count themselves lucky, as Wales is part of the UK and doesn't even feature on the flag. This seems a massive shame, as I feel there should generally be more dragons and mythological beasts on world flags.

This leads to the complexity. Turns out that when you put three flags on top of each other, it gets a little busy. By my quick and unscientific estimation, there are 17 separate blocks of colour. Compare this with the beautiful simplicity of the Vietnamese or Ukrainian flags, and then look back upon the Union Jack with despair.

Finally my biggest bugbear: it's needlessly asymmetrical. Why is Northern Ireland's flag warped like that? It could go perfectly in the middle of the Scottish saltire, yet it's at weirdly incongruent tangents. One can only suppose this was done so that indignant Daily Telegraph readers could write a letter to the editor bemoaning the fact that some poor jobsworth somewhere has accidentally hung the damn thing upside down.

Australia

Manages to incorporate the aforementioned awfulness of the UK flag in the corner, whilst also having an easily forgotten constellation taking up 75% of the available space. Some of the stars have five points, others seven. Why? Ironically, the stars appear to form a question mark. It's as though the flag itself is questioning why it looks that way.

Additionally, it's almost exactly the same as New Zealand's flag- though credit to the Kiwis, they're at least doing something about the situation.

Uganda

It's almost like they saw the German flag, reversed some of the bars, and thought "It's good...but let's double it". I've read that the bird in the middle is supposed to be a grey crowned crane, but honestly it looks more like a fighting chicken in faux-Roman armour. If you look at it for more than five seconds it begins to hurt your eyes (which should be regarded as a fundamental flaw in a flag) and has the unshakable feel of an optical illusion.