UKIP Are Awful (1st May)

Hilarious news came out recently that UKIP have asked the police to investigate the BBC over comments made on a satirical panel show. It seems that they literally can't take a joke, and want actual policeman to take actual time out of their day solving actual crimes to look at a sarcastic remark made on a BBC comedy show. 





What actually happened? Camilla Long, a journalist for the Sunday Times (not exactly the most hippie-liberal of newspapers, it must be said), joked that over the course of the election campaign, she had been to Nige's targeted constituency more than he had. 

The face of evil lefty lies.

That's it. No slander, no insult. It might even be true, seeing as the Man Of The People © himself has been criss-crossing the country trying to drum up support for his merry band of "fruit cakes, loonies and closet racists" (incidentally, that's probably the only time I've ever agreed with something that David Cameron's said). But never mind the pettiness of it, UKIP want this gross insult to Nige's honour thoroughly investigated! 

But let's take their claims with a shovel full of salt. If Camilla Long was in fact lying, then she'd be guilty of an exaggeration. And UKIP would never stoop to unrepresentative exaggerations to get their point across now, would they?

That would be preposterous.

UKIP would never distort the truth.

OH DEAR GOD MIRIAM, THEY'RE SETTLING! RUN TO THE HILLS!

Of course, this isn't the first time that Nigel & Co. have had a run in with the BBC. During the debates last month, he clashed with the moderator by claiming that the audience in the room was "remarkable, even by the left-wing standards of the BBC". In one of the most hilarious televised humblings I've seen in a while, Farage was reminded that the audience was chosen by an independent polling company to be representative of the entire electorate.

"Bollocks. Probably shouldn't have said that."

What UKIP seem to have ignored here completely is the context. Have I Got News For You is one of the longest running satire shows there is, and routinely mocks politicians of all stripes. The BBC defended itself by noting that "Everyone knows that the contributors on Have I Got News for You regularly make jokes at the expense of politicians of all parties."As the Independent noted, Long's comments "followed 13 minutes of jokes about the Tories, Labour, Lib Dem and SNP campaigns". What she said (and again, it was said in jest and may even be true) wasn't on the News at Ten or News 24; it was said on a show which pretty much only exists to mock politicians. This perhaps explains why the police have announced that they won't be investigating the claims made by UKIP, because come on get real.

"You want us to investigate because you got slagged off on Have I Got News For You? That's the best one I've heard all week."

Given that the police have decided not to investigate, one wonders why UKIP bothered bringing the case at all, seeing as in their own manifesto (trust me, I looked), UKIP say that the police say they "should not be subjected to undue stress as a result of being over stretched". Perhaps if the police were dealing less with spurious and trivial allegations from immature political busybodies, they'd be better able to actually get on with their jobs.