Republican Primaries 2016

Devon Stevens: Welcome to tonight's show. I'm your host, Devon Stevens. As the Republican primaries continue apace, we check in with our head reporter Chad Vonoverbro. Chad, what's the latest?

Chad Vonoverbro: Thanks, Devon. Well, there's only one person that we can begin with tonight, as the media has the attention span of a toddler and focuses upon the colourful thing which makes the most noise.

"And I can make a YUGE noise."

Donald Trump: Amalgamated Awfulness

Donald J. Trump. Described by John Oliver as "an old piece of luggage covered in cheese-wiz", and "a clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton candy", The Donald has now remarkably ensconced himself as the leading front-runner in the race for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. This is in spite of the fact that he has little if any political experience, or that his personality can be most kindly described as "abrasive", or that before his latest crack at office he was most prominently known for being a bit flashy in the 80's and hosting a reality TV show. Donald is running a campaign against the odds, and he's winning? Who doesn't love an outsider?