2047, Earth Federal Headquarters
[INT, DAY. AN EXPLOSION RIPS A HOLE IN THE WALL, AND AN IMPOSING FIGURE ENTERS THE ROOM THROUGH SMOKE]
P.M.: "It is I, Professor Mayhem! Your reign has come to an end, Interim World President Hughes! Soon the entire planet will bend to my will!"
P.H.: "Thank fuck for that"
P.M.: "Haha! I knew...wait what"
P.H.: "I am so bloody relieved, you have no idea. I didn't even want this job you know, I only got it by default. I was the lost sod standing after the Apoca-Wars and I got lumped with it." P.M.: "Fool! You control the entire world, and you would willingly cede your power to me?" P.H.: "Do you have any idea how much admin there is involved in running the entire planet? The sheer cubic volume of paperwork? It's absolutely mind-boggling. And do you think people are ever happy? Do you think I ever get cut any slack?" P.M.: "Urrrrr" P.H.: "Do I fuck. Every day, they come to me and say 'Interim World President Hughes, have you reviewed the latest Cosmo-War briefings?' 'Can you approve the production run of the new laser-drones?' 'Have you dealt with the refugee crisis from the former North American Territories?' Like I even give a single, solitary shit." P.M.: "That sounds like a lot of responsibility." P.H.: "I cannot wait to pack it in." P.M.: "You do know that I intend to unleash a wave of terror and destruction upon the planet, right?" P.H.: "Couldn't give a flying fuck, mate. Literally not my job anymore." P.M.: "Now that you're describing it, this job doesn't actually sound that appealing." P.H.: "Just sack it off mate. Want to go to the pub? I'm gagging for a pint." P.M.: "Alright then, I guess so." [ON SCREEN TEXT: 'Interim World President Hughes successfully convinced Professor Mayhem that world domination was an ultimately pointless endeavour and really not worth the fuss. Through his combination of laziness, nihilism, and negativity, President Hughes saved billions of lives. In recognition of his achievement, he was offered the prestigious ceremonial position of Intergalactic Overseer. He failed to show up for a single day of work. THE END']
P.H.: "I am so bloody relieved, you have no idea. I didn't even want this job you know, I only got it by default. I was the lost sod standing after the Apoca-Wars and I got lumped with it." P.M.: "Fool! You control the entire world, and you would willingly cede your power to me?" P.H.: "Do you have any idea how much admin there is involved in running the entire planet? The sheer cubic volume of paperwork? It's absolutely mind-boggling. And do you think people are ever happy? Do you think I ever get cut any slack?" P.M.: "Urrrrr" P.H.: "Do I fuck. Every day, they come to me and say 'Interim World President Hughes, have you reviewed the latest Cosmo-War briefings?' 'Can you approve the production run of the new laser-drones?' 'Have you dealt with the refugee crisis from the former North American Territories?' Like I even give a single, solitary shit." P.M.: "That sounds like a lot of responsibility." P.H.: "I cannot wait to pack it in." P.M.: "You do know that I intend to unleash a wave of terror and destruction upon the planet, right?" P.H.: "Couldn't give a flying fuck, mate. Literally not my job anymore." P.M.: "Now that you're describing it, this job doesn't actually sound that appealing." P.H.: "Just sack it off mate. Want to go to the pub? I'm gagging for a pint." P.M.: "Alright then, I guess so." [ON SCREEN TEXT: 'Interim World President Hughes successfully convinced Professor Mayhem that world domination was an ultimately pointless endeavour and really not worth the fuss. Through his combination of laziness, nihilism, and negativity, President Hughes saved billions of lives. In recognition of his achievement, he was offered the prestigious ceremonial position of Intergalactic Overseer. He failed to show up for a single day of work. THE END']
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