1) Gratuitous shoe shot in the first 30 seconds.
2) Casual homophobia. But it's OK, because the gay guys are in on the joke.
3) Liza Minelli performing 'Single Ladies'. There isn't enough cringe in the world.
4) Carrie's husband looks like cheap Alec Baldwin AND he left her at the alter? Oy vey.
5) AWFUL lady banter. Worth noting that this movie is written by a dude called Martin.
6) "We sold the penthouse and came back down to earth. Well, the 12th floor to be exact!" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
7) The music when she first goes into her walk-in closet is usually reserved for when a character sees their main love interest.
8) Miranda's husband: "Mommy can't come to the science fair"
Amanda's child: "I know, she's working [sad face]"
WHO DO YOU THINK PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE, CHILD
9) Irish pipe song when the Irish nanny appears on screen. CGI leprechauns must have been *just* over the budget.
10) Kim Cattrall is literally the *only* enjoyable thing in this movie.
11) YOU'RE A WRITER CARRIE, HOW THE HELL DO YOU AFFORD A VINTAGE ROLEX?
12) ohmygodiknowright, marriage to obscenely rich people is the worst
13) lulz, Miley Cyrus before she was weird.
14) Art Malik sounds *just* like Captain Darling from Blackadder.
15) Wait, Carrie has an entire apartment of her own that she just leaves unoccupied? In Manhattan? Jesus wept.
16) Arabic airline = clichéd Arabic music!
17) They just landed in Abu Dhabi. Shit's about to get RACIST
18) Yup, Carrie's wearing a turban and she hasn't even left the airport yet.
19) "The sheikh has given you the finest the Middle East has to offer: four new Maybachs" - you mean the best thing about the UAE is imported German cars?
20) Of course Omid Djalili showed up, he's like in every movie set somewhere between North Africa and Central Asia.
21) "The Niqab covers everything but the eyes"
"Certainly cuts down on the Botox bill!"
Lol! Because the systematic repression of women, get it?!
22) This description:
23) This ex-boyfriend Aiden might just be the single whitest thing I've ever seen. And I've seen Bon Jovi live in concert.
24) Australian rugby team gets in the pool. Chorus: "Who ordered the Aussie sausage?!" ARGHARGH
25) The unironic use of the word "interfriention".
26) I make that the fourth slow-mo shot of the ladies modelling new outfits. It's almost as if the plot is just a method of shoe-horning in more wardrobe.
| "Cultural appropriation is amazing!" |
28) Karaoke singing- toe curling in way that major motion pictures so rarely are.
29) "Being a mother kicks your ass" "Yes, but the benefits are worth it [crickets]" AUTHENTIC DIALOGUE
30)...did he just make eye contact with an Emirati guy whilst proudly sporting a boner?
31) The UAE women are stripping off their burkas, revealing high end fashion underneath. WHAT IS HAPPENING
32) Burkas- a classic method of escape, second only to Union Jack themed Mini Coopers.
33) '...and Charlotte had no reason to worry, as her hot Irish nanny was in fact a lesbian and so wouldn't be stealing her husband' - actually a 'happily ever after' for one of the characters.
34) It's the end of the movie and everything is exactly how it was at the start? JESUS.
 |
| Justified. Too generous, if anything. |
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