Racism: A Flowchart

Racism: scourge of society, sport of the GOP, lifeblood of the ignorant. Of course, it's very easy to sort people into opposing camps. There are those who have basic human compassion and dignity, and those others whose fragile identity needs to be bolstered with bigotry and idiocy. But what of the tricky third group, best known for their catchphrase "I'm not racist, but..."? Confused in their beliefs, these people may need a little help in finding which side they are truly on. To that end, I've produced this handy flowchart. Be sure to keep it on hand for the next time you meet one of the "but..." people.

Social Media: A Guide

The social media landscape can be daunting prospect for the uninitiated. Fortunately, help is at hand in the form of these handy pie charts.

Facebook: Still the number one place to spy on former high school friends/exes/your college roommate’s friend’s cousin’s cat.

Phil's Alternative Thanksgiving History

Once upon a time (way back there. Like, sometime after Jesus but before WW1), there lived a group of people called the Pilgrims.

Waddup.

Exercise: An Internal Battle

[INTERIOR: PHIL'S BRAIN]

Cortex Commander: Alright men, we're going for a jog! Battle stations! This is a critical situation. He's barely suited to FIFA marathons, let alone actual running.

James Bond: Austerity Royale

M: Good morning Bond. Take a seat.
Bond: To what do I owe the pleasure, M?
M: Well Bond, as you know the current government has been counting the pennies. It's time to tighten our belts.

Apparently there was too much pork in the budget.